Tag Archives: James Patton

Pope Benedict XVI Resigns

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It was a shocking day for the Roman Catholic Church, after the stunning resignation of Pope Benedict XVI. This is the first papal resignation in almost 600 years.

In an address read out in Latin before a group of cardinals in the Apostolic Palace, the 85-year-old pontiff said he had decided that, due to his “advanced age” and deteriorating strengths, he would be stepping down as head of the Catholic Church on 28 February.

While there have been glowing tributes coming forward since the announcement, there are also contrary opinions. Victims of the sex and child abuse scandals that erupted under Benedict’s papacy either accused him of being directly complicit in a conspiracy to cover up the thousands of cases that have come to light over the past three years, or of failing to stand up to reactionary elements in the church who were resolved to keep the scandals under wraps.

Norbert Denef, from north Germany, who was abused as a boy by his local priest for six years and was later offered €25,000 (then £17,000) by his diocesan bishop to keep quiet, said: “We won’t miss this pope.”

A successor may be chosen by Easter.

Funeral Humor: Bizarre Funeral Home Signs

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween, from the staff at James Patton Funeral Directors.

Indy 500 Winner Killed in Vegas Crash

British IndyCar Driver Dan Wheldon Dead Following 15-car Wreck in Sunday’s Las Vegas Indy 300. More on the accident.

Police Say Parents Locked Boy In Coffin

Lori Gardner, Brian Sleboda

Police in Pennsylvania have arrested the parents of a 7-year-old boy, who was forced to wear a diaper and locked in a coffin in the basement.

According to the Scranton Times-Tribune, neighbors heard the boy crying and called the police. When the police arrived, the boy was wearing a diaper and was bound with tape. “Are you here to help me?” he asked the responding officer.

The boy told police that his mother and step father often locked him in the coffin or the basement as punishment. He said that they sometimes bound the coffin shut with duct tape and told him there were ghosts  living in the basement.

The boy’s parents, Lori Gardner, 26, and stepfather Brian Sleboda, 31, were not around initially, but turned themselves in to police eight days after the boy was found and four days after the charges were formally  filed. The child had to be questioned before they were arrested.

Gardner admitted to duct taping her son’s arms and legs and locking him in the coffin, but told police they were only playing a game.

Police found the coffin and a bug-infested broken toilet in the basement. The only light source in the room was a “Camel Exotic Blends” lighting hanging over a bar.

The house has been condemned for “unsafe for human habitation.” Authorities say an inspection revealed the home had electrical issues, fire damage and was infested with bugs.

Gardner and Sleboda were ordered taken to Lackawanna County Prison on Tuesday in lieu of $60,000 bail each.

Doritos Creator Arch West To Be Honored with Graveside Chips-Sprinkling

At the October 1 funeral of Arch West, who passed away last week, his family plans to honor the former Frito-Lay marketing executive in a somewhat unorthodox way: They’ll be sprinkling Doritos on his grave prior to the first scoop of dirt. How else would you celebrate the snack-food visionary who took a good idea, coupled it with market research, and championed the Doritos cause until it hit the shelves in 1967?

West, who lived to the age of 97, first presented the idea for these crunchy corn chips in 1961 after a family vacation near San Diego, where he encountered a snack shack selling fried tortilla chips. Though the idea initially was met with skepticism, West was undeterred in his quest, which eventually produced taco-flavored Doritos in 1968 and the trademark nacho cheese-flavored Doritos four years later.

Music Stops for Wisconsin Man Charged With Stealing Guitar From Corpse

Steven Conrad Charged With Theft From A Corpse

Green Bay, Wisconsin

On 09-23-2011 at approximately 3:05 PM Officers from the Brown County Sheriff’s Office were dispatched to the Catholic Diocese of Green Bay located at 1825 Riverside Drive, in the Village of Allouez, for a report of a theft.

Upon Arrival Officers met with the complainant, Diocese Director of Facilities Tammy Jo Basten, who stated she wanted to report a theft of a guitar. Tammy advised officers that a deceased person, Randall Jourdan, had been placed in his casket with his guitar and the casket had been placed into a burial chamber, and the guitar was later discovered missing.

As a result of the investigation officers discovered on 09-22-2011 at approximately 2:00 PM employees from the Green Bay Diocese met with Ryan Funeral Home at the front entrance to the Mausoleum to move the casket from the Ryan Funeral Home vehicle to a holding room in the building.While moving the casket the Ryan Funeral Home director stated that the family wanted to verify that the guitar was still in the casket prior to the casket being placed in the burial chamber. The guitar was verified to still be in the casket at this time when the casket was placed into the burial chamber. A witness, an employee of the Diocese, became suspicious when he overheard a comment made by another employee stating “That’s a Telly, a really expensive guitar. I have to have that guitar. It’s too expensive to be in a crypt.” On 09-23-2011 at 7:00 AM the suspicious employee opened the casket in the burial chamber and found the guitar missing.

On 09-24-2011 Officers from Brown County Sheriff’s Office questioned 39 year old Green Bay Diocese Grounds Superintendent Steven Conard about the missing guitar. While being questioned by the Officer Steven admitted that he had the stolen the guitar inside his residence. Steven said, “This isn’t something I normally do, I just have a respect for fine musical instruments”. Officers were able to recover the guitar from Conard’s residence.

The guitar is a Fender, Telecaster valued at two thousand dollars.

Steven Conard was arrested and incarcerated in the Brown County Jail for charges of Theft from a Corpse. Also arrested during this investigation was Steven Conrad’s 43 year old wife, Heather Conrad. Heather was incarcerated in the Brown County Jail for charges of obstructing justice.